First Ad- “If You Wouldn’t Wear Your Dog…Please Don’t Wear Any Fur”

1.       The publisher for this ad was PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

2.       This ad was intended for people in Europe, as it was the first ad of its kind in Croatia. It would be for a general audience as it was posted on billboards and leaflets.

3.       The ad was originally posted on billboards and leaflets in Europe.

4.       The ad seems to be working towards ending animal cruelty and more specifically ending the fur trend.

5.       They use mainly emotional appeals as people tend to be attached to their pets. They use a statement that makes the consumer question why it is okay to wear fur from certain animals and not others.

6.       There is a picture of a person and a pug staring directly out from the picture, along with text that reads “If You Wouldn’t Wear Your Dog…Please Don’t Wear Any Fur”.

Second Ad – “For Luxuriant Hair”

1.       The publisher of this ad was Freedom For Animals

2.       This ad was probably intended for people who regularly use beauty products that involve animal testing.

3.       It is a fake ad for a hair product with a conventionally attractive woman in the forefront with some type of abrasion on the side of her face. It also has a caption on it stating “For Luxuriant Hair”, and then another saying “This is how 300,000 lab animals suffer each year”.

4.       The purpose is to get people to stop buying products from companies who abuse animals

5/6. They seem to be using emotional appeals by using a visibly hurt woman to show the damage that is normally caused to animals, making us sympathize with her, and then indirectly, the animals.

Third Ad – “Do You Support Cruelty To Animals?”

1.       This ad was published by Mercy for Animals.

2.       This ad was intended for people who shop or work at Walmart.

3.       The ad says that Walmart supports animal cruelty and asks if you, the audience, also supports it.

4.       The purpose of the ad is to persuade people to stop supporting Walmart because it supports animal cruelty, and to try and get Walmart to stop using cruel practices on their animals.

5.       They seem to be trying to end animal cruelty by showing a pig staring directly out from the ad between the bars of a cage. They are appealing to emotions by trying to gain sympathy from the audience for the pig that is in a situation where it is being abused.

6.       The evidence comes from the text on the ad and the picture that lays in the forefront of the ad.

Fourth Ad – “My Name Is Dee Dee”

1.       The ad was published by the ASPCA

2.       The ad was intended for any people who were looking for a pet and wondering if adopting from a shelter might be the best route for them, or for people who don’t want a shelter dog.

3.       The entire ad is a picture of a dog holding a ball in its mouth, mid-playtime. The text also tells a story of a dog, Dee Dee, who is waiting to be adopted by a family who understands her abused past and is willing to love her.

4.       The purpose of the text is to try and get people to adopt abused animals from shelters instead of breeders.

5.       They are once again using emotional appeals to spread their message, personifying the dog, and having the text in the point of view of the dog, as if Dee Dee is the one saying it. They are also pulling on emotions by saying that the dog is waiting for somebody to love, and implying that you could be that person.

6.       The evidence from the text would be the picture of the dog, and the story like text being displayed over the image.

All Ads – Group Statement.

7.       As a group, all ads are trying to end animal cruelty and promote the better treatment of animals using heavily emotional appeals to work towards their main purpose.

Corben and Riley 

Analysis Summary – Advertisements R Us

           In Melissa Rubin’s analysis “Advertisements R Us”, she analyzes a 1950’s Coca-Cola ad originally published in a trade magazine for the company’s bottlers. The author starts by explaining what she will be writing about and the angle that she will be taking in the analysis. She then includes a very detailed description of the ad, focusing on parts she will eventually use in her analysis and conclusion. Before starting the analysis, Rubin also includes historical context to better support her analysis of the ad. Afterwards, the actual analysis begins, starting with the setting and moving through the writing, “Sprite Boy”, and the people in the coke ad. The author argues that the ad offers insight into the culture of the time, using the historical context she provided to analyze that ad and support this point. She discusses the race of people shown in the ad, all white, and ties this into the racial prejudice that was common during the 1950’s. The author also includes an analysis of the setting, specifically the smoke stacks, and explains how this clearly shows a disregard for environmental concerns. The author uses each topic as a building point for the next, and starts each new analysis as a new paragraph. The author uses the visual separation to create a transition, while using writing to continue the connection between all pieces, eventually leading to her conclusion. She states that the point of the ad was for coke to display their ideal society, one that is attainable to everyone if they drink their product. Rubin explains how the ad ties into the context of the time and how it offers insight into the culture of the era, and also ties the entire work back into the introduction, explaining how a company might use an ad to persuade its consumers. 

In-class Collaborative talk 10/20/15

• Need to know what you’re talking about
• be passionate 
• convince your audience to be passionate about your subject
• know your audience
• establish to your audience that you know what you’re talking about

             In the “Stay Sweet As You Are” essay by Doug Lantry, the author analyzes ads from the 1920’s, 1930’s, and 1950’s to reinforce his conclusion that women have always been pressed to be physically attractive so that in the future, she may get married, and that marriage is the ultimate goal (paragraph 1). Lantry also describes all three examples of the ads he uses to support the actual image he includes. This allows us to see the original ad which we can then compare to his own description to authenticate. As for evidence to support his claim, Lantry dissects each image, and using the descriptions he has created, he picks out important pieces that are relevant to the topic and his subject, and incorporates them into his analysis as evidentiary support. After analyzing the ads for their underlying messages, Lantry then summarizes how each ad pertains to the overall claim, other ideas that may have been created by his analysis, and any especially important reflections. To get all of his ideas across, Lantry uses extremely clear language to make sure that his ideas are presented exactly in the way he wants. He is very formal in his structure, and the diction is precise and not muddled. By using language that is not fluffy or encompassing, Lantry is able to be exact and uncompromising in his analysis. His ideas are not open to interpretation and leaves his analysis feeling complete and authoritative. 

Thinking About the Text

1.       Melissa Rubin offers the insight that the overall message of the ad was that Coca-Cola will “refresh and unite working America”. The evidence used to support this conclusion comes partly from the immense and towering Coke machine, and the sprite boy. She analyzes the positioning of both parts, and tells us how the god like imagery along with the message written directly on the machine make it very clear what coke can do for the working Americans. She then uses another piece of evidence to support the conclusion, pulling from the writing on the bottom of the ad. She explains how this restates the previous message, and reinforces the idea that coke is refreshing for workers. She also includes an analysis of the people in the ad. All white, mostly male, and all part of an industrial scene, she uses these details to show us how Coca-Cola brings all of these hard working people together. They stand gathered around the machine, each with their very own bottle of Coke, once again supporting the conclusion she has made. Melissa has made a very good case for her conclusions, one that I do agree with. Her analysis of the ad seems sound, and she uses many different pieces of evidence to support the same conclusion, making her argument streamlined and focused.

2.       Melissa brings in many different analyses to the historical context displayed in the ad. She explains how the race of the people portrayed in the ad, all white, is important because at the time the ad was used by the company, racial bias and prejudice was very popular in America. She also explains why this happened in the first place, because having a diverse group would not be a helpful advertising tool at the time. Melissa then takes it a step farther and tells us why this is important by comparing it to a likely ad of our current time, allowing us to see the stark differences between the two times. Another instance of historical context being brought into her analysis, is the discussion of the setting. Melissa brings up the smoke pouring from the stacks into the air, and the heavily industrial scene, explaining how both of these are portrayed in a way that shows them to be overwhelmingly positive. The worry of pollution, gentrification, or deforestation even, are not shown to be even a miniscule concern in the ad. At the time, when the war effort was increasingly important, this scene of assumed productivity would have been not only appealing to many poor and working class Americans, but would have also been a sign of patriotism and support from Coca-Cola. Melissa makes these arguments using the historical context from the time as the starting point from which to make accurate conclusions and arguments. It also provides her details that help to make a clearer analysis of the scene in the ad possible.  

3.       Other than learning about the culture, we can learn things like the motivation or goals of a company, or even the company’s values. Ads are a way for companies to share ideals and beliefs through scenes not unlike the Coca-Cola ad. As people are becoming more and more aware of society and the issues that permeate it, they start to look for companies and products whose beliefs align with their own. In that sense, purchasing products from companies they like, supports the causes they stand for indirectly. For example Doritos, a very popular brand of tortilla chips, was able to understand the growing force of a liberal population, and decided to make it clear where the company stood on one of the most popular issues of our time, lgbt rights. By creating a special bag of rainbow Doritos to serve as a reward for donating to an lgbt cause, they shared with all of their consumers what they as a company stood for. Although it may have led to certain customers vowing to never eat their product again, it also brought in new business to the company, from people who identify with the cause and want to show support.

4.       The very popular ad from JCPenny, showing a contemporary gay family, is a very god indicator of our era, and our societal values. JCPenny, a very large retailer, decided to show a gay family in a relaxed setting, without any further agenda. In a very smart move, they did not place any emphasis on the ad, or create a special or different setting that would have stood out from the others, but instead created a picture that blended the family into the others present in the ad with them. This created an air of equality between the different types of families. There was no group that was better than the other or less important, and this almost tender handling of the societal issue was very clear to consumers about how the company felt concerning the issue, and made the message that they would not be apologetic about it. When comparing the ad to the Coca-Cola ad from the 1950’s, the differences are immense. While Coca-Cola was trying to show itself and their products as wholly American and patriotic, a part of the everyday life and the Great American Dream, JCPenny was taking a stand. The ad was distinguishing the retailer from others, and had a goal behind it that was different from the coke ad. The times not only show a growing difference in political and societal norms, but also a changing way in how consumers are looked at by companies. The coke ad is persuading the customer that their product is the best because it unites and refreshes people who are the embodiment of the American dream, they are saying that if you drink coke, or buy their product, you too can become a part of this dream. On the other side, JCPenny is showing acceptance and solidarity with those who may not be a part of the majority, and is showing others that they should too. 

Think About your own use of analysis

Decisions	Information needed to decide	Affect
What do I want to study in college? (ASL Interpretation)	Where would I go? How long would it take me to get a degree? How much would it cost? Would I be able to have a career with this education?	This affected every part of my life, my family, my current schooling, my thoughts about the future, and my financial concerns.
Do I really want coffee this morning? (YES)	What time is it? How much time do I have before I need to leave? Is it fresh? What type is it? Do we have cream?	It affected my energy levels and how much I will be paying attention in the morning when two of my classes are. It indirectly affected my performance for that day.
What shirt should I wear today? (WOU Shirt)	What’s clean? Is it cold today? Is it comfortable? Where am I going today? What am I doing today? Is it appropriate? How does it make me feel when I am wearing it?	It affected my comfort level, and indirectly how much I am able to focus on my work in class rather than my clothing. It also affected my self-esteem. If I like what I am wearing, most of the time I also like how it makes me feel. So if I like my clothes, I am normally happier than if I hated what I had on.
Should I stay for the whole class because we have a substitute who might not need me there as a Teacher’s Aide? (YES)	Does the sub have experience with ASL? Does she know the students? Does she know what we are supposed to do today? Does she know how the class is supposed to behave in ASL class? Does she know how to be effective in an ASL environment?	It affected how the rest of my day went, and how much work I got done. It also affected my mood because class was more stressful for me when I had to be more responsible for the students because the sub literally had no knowledge at all of ASL or Deaf Culture. I could have left early and gotten work for other classes done, or even spent more time with my family.
Should I take my medicine tonight? (YES)	Do I want to miss a dose? Do I want to suffer through symptoms of withdrawal? Do I want to go through a day un-medicated? How do I feel when I don’t take it?	It affected every single part of my day. It helps me control my depression and anxiety, making me much more effective and involved. If I didn’t take it I would be very withdrawn, irritated, hard to work with, and generally unmotivated.

Look For analysis in everyday use

                The ads I analyzed were from Apple and Walmart. If choosing, I would have to say that the Apple ad is much more effective than the Walmart ad. With Apple, the picture they present is clean, simple and uncluttered, with a view of the product in use, allowing the consumer a sneak peek at what it can do. The message is unassuming visually, but extremely sure and confident. “Loving it is easy. That’s why so many people do.”, this not only forces the idea that the product (in this case, the Iphone 5) is a great product that is so great, and you must actively work to not like it. The message also enforces that an incredibly large amount of people love the phone, so you should too. The mob mentality is pulled upon to make the message stronger and clearer, making the desire to own the phone greater also. We as consumers love the clean look and modern feel of the ad, all white background, smooth lines, and bright colors, that it translates our feelings towards the phone also. If the ad is so modern and cool, then the phone must be also.

 For the Walmart ad, the page is clustered, multiple different products are all vying for space on the page. The colors are bright but contrasting, reds and greens all drawing your eyes to different parts of the ad. The important information is in white, the time of the sale, the prices of the featured items, and the fine print. This makes the information stand out on the multicolored page, but also serves to further confuse the gaze. In this ad, the feel is more chaotic, and the message seems to be less about showing you something you should have, and more like a push of information they are trying to get you to care about. Even though red and green are complimentary colors, the saturation on the page along with the dynamic design, leads to a more cluttered and busy feeling that makes it a task to try and digest the information being forced at you. In this case, Walmart should have taken the same route as Apple. Organization and clean unassuming coloring makes the actual product stand out, rather than the ad. This ca give the illusion of importance to what you are selling. If the background is completely white, but the product isn’t, what makes this product special? Why is it important enough to warrant our attention? Apple’s ad makes us interested and curious about the product while discreetly making us feel like we should already have it, and Walmart grabs our attention with the colors, but drowns out the actual product in the ads design.

Taking Stock of Your Writing

Narrative Essay #1

1. What was my main point or thesis?
1. My main point when writing was to try and share my experience with literature and literacy in a way that conveyed the emotional attachment I had to the piece and show how another person’s literacy can have a profound effect on your own.

2. Who was my audience? What did i assume about them, and their needs? How was my writing affected by knowing my audience?
1. My audience was mainly Sonia, but it also included several peers who might read it when I have posted my final draft on the blog. My writing was absolutely tailored to the audience with my vocabulary, structure, and even the topic I was writing about. I made my paper more formal, while following format and structure rules to fit the essay style. If i had been writing the same story for friends, my diction would have probably been less elevated or formal than it is in the essay.

3. What feedback did you get while writing, and how was it helpful?
1. During the writing process, I received feedback in the form of annotations and commentary from other people in the class. The specific comment that pointed out how I was unclear about the meaning of my paper in the beginning was really helpful, and allowed me to expand and put in the missing meaning.

4. What was interesting to me as I went through the writing process for this paper, and what did I learn from it?
1. I found that while I was writing, it was much easier than other types of papers to gain motivation for writing, or to draw inspiration. It felt easier to write because I was able to be completely honest about my opinions and experiences, and also felt more in control about where my paper was going. I learned that I prefer to write honestly and allow the story to flow more naturally, and also that even though I struggled with it in the past, I feel like my writing is definitely more effective when I trust myself and my experience.

5. What questions do I have for Sonia concerning the paper, what would I like her to focus on, and what did I feel like were the strengths and weaknesses in my writing?
1. I would like to know why this is important to Sonia specifically that we share our experience with literacy, and also what she would write about for her literacy narrative. I am not sure what I would like Sonia to focus on in my paper, or even what I think the strengths or weaknesses are. I tend to be very overly critical of every single thing I write or do, so if I were to start talking about the weaknesses in my writing, I would probably say everything about it could be changed or rewritten so it was better.

Literacy Narrative Rough Draft (Final)

I was sitting in my room, the covers pulled around my shoulders, face slightly numb from the chill of the air, when it happened. When my understanding of what it meant to be literate was challenged and completely demolished. Not by dynamite or weapon, but by something much more dangerous and destructive, the words of another. I had been on my phone, using it as a source of light and entertainment as I struggled with my weary eyes, begging them to rest and allow me to sleep.

Reading has always been a strong calming force of mine, and that was how I was utilizing it. I felt like I was drifting across the screen, not entirely registering what I was reading or the meaning that would lay heavily behind it, but I continued nonetheless. When I somehow found my way to the poetry, I became suddenly intrigued. Poetry had always been important to me, but in a small and non-consuming way that meant I had no favorite poets or pieces, and I had never written any of my own. Thinking to myself that the soothing tones and transitions may be what I needed, I scavenged and swallowed every word, until I was bloated with them. My throat was filled to the brim with words I had not spoken, and my hands full of words I had not written, but I still needed more. I wanted something that was meaningful to me, for any reason, which gave me a sense of satisfaction that the other scraps hadn’t.

I then came across an older man’s writing. He was Chilean, and the soft spoken truths were laid out and stripped, splayed across my screen with a Latino edge. The accent was clear in the words he used, the way that they flowed and twisted, transformed and died on the page. I was transfixed, enamored, enchanted. “Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines” by Pablo Neruda, has stayed with me to this day. The hairs on my arms stood up even though they were shrouded by the sheets, and I could feel my cheeks flushing, the blood in my body swirling and pumping faster and faster. The sharp intake of breath I took seemed to be from another person, as I was no longer a part of myself, and the scent of the familiar detergent lingering in the air and on my skin, still wasn’t enough to return me. Pablo’s words had filled my body, and there was no longer enough room for all of who I was before.

The corpses he had left on the pages were stunningly sharp and beautiful, embalmed with emotion and intensity rather than harsh formaldehyde. His words had the same effect though, the experiences and feelings set onto paper, and through my screen were immortalized, or at least their appearance now preserved. The depth of his meaning, and the honesty he showed flowed through my arteries, and pulled me back in. Smaller parts of myself were squeezed out of course, flowing through the edges I had fought so hard to clamp and weld closed. My cup before had been filled solely with myself, but as I reentered my person, I found part of the space taken up by this new experience. The words he had written were no longer part of his collected writings, but part of me, something I had claimed which had claimed me back. My pupils, no longer feeling swollen or painful with sleep deprivation, flitted across the lines, free of fatigue and with renewed vigor. I had to read it again and again and again.

The way he described the sky in the start, the way he portrayed melancholy and love, and made it clear that they were not mutually exclusive, was earth shattering. This woman, who I will never know, had become important to me, in a way I cannot explain. I was shocked and disturbed. How did this person, this old author, connect me to this person I had never known? How had he made me feel so successfully what he must have felt, how dare he force this on me? I had no answers, and I doubt I ever will. His writing was mysterious and romantic, but violence was also present. Not in physicality, but in the force and magnitude in which he felt things. How the woman he had loved had taken parts of him and how he had done the same to her. How irreversibly they had stretched and pulled each other, to the point of ripping. He had made it clear that as they walked away from each other, the blood on their hands and pooling in the hollows of their bodies, was not just their own.

I had never seen a person put so much of themselves into their writing before. It made no sense to me how he could afford to lay himself out, to knowingly be dissected, handing the scalpel over with his blessing. It was astonishing to me how comfortable he seemed to be with letting others know and bury themselves in the space carved out of his chest, the space where he had so obviously separated and torn his words from the muscles and ligaments, severing those connections to make room for other people. These were feelings that were obviously personal, the words and experiences irreplaceable and important, and he had chosen to allow other people to see and inspect them, to analyze and pick apart each word, each shift in tone, each line break that he had so delicately labored into life.

Before that point, I had never considered being personal in my writing, preferring to instead stay distanced, focusing on the point I needed to make, or the side I had to argue. My opinions and knowledge was only included if relevant and could serve to better the overall delivery and understanding of the message. I saw though, for the first time how wrongly I had taken to every single writing task I had completed up to that point. From then on, the words I spoke had depth, and the letters written on my paper were personal. I saw how allowing my voice broadened my vocabulary, and made my meaning clearer. All of my writing became easier to digest.

No longer tough and dry, or clinical and cold, I had transformed. My writing had gone through the process of metamorphosis, coming out silkier, softer, more pliable and completely renewed. I changed every part of my writing process, no longer analyzing from a distance, but digging, searching and sifting through each word and its connotation. The voice of each author now had meaning to me, and it was easier than ever to understand point of view, and the emotions that seeped through subconsciously, the author unaware of how they had tainted their pages, signed their name between the lines. I was able to write better now than I had before, even if I did not have a significant change in scores or grades, it was clear to me at least how much more successful I had become. I now appealed to emotion more than logic, and to people whose motivation and life force are what we feel, it was human, and I became better for it.

Every now and then, I read the poem again that changed my life. I still get chills, and my throat still tightens as I read it aloud. An old man from Chile, whom I had never met, gave me a gift that I can never return or thank him for. He showed me that my writing is good because I am writing it. That the emotions I feel boiling to the surface or simmering in my abdomen are useful and good. He showed me how the most human part of all of us, allows people to relate to your writing, and gain a deeper level of understanding and respect for what is being said. He taught me through a single poem, how to better understand what I read, through the feelings and emotions entrenched in each piece of writing I come across. Before I had encountered “Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines” I had fooled myself into thinking I was literate, when truthfully, I was only going through the motions. Of course I could read and write, but allowing peoples work to touch me, and having mine touch others was a concept I had never even pondered. Pablo Neruda gave me literacy, and changed how I see it in others. For that, I will be eternally grateful and forever literate.

Literacy Narrative Rough Draft

I was sitting in my room, the covers pulled around my shoulders, face slightly numb from the chill of the air, when it happened. I had been on my phone, using it as a source of light and entertainment as I struggled with my weary eyes, begging them to rest and allow me to sleep. Reading has always been a strong calming force of mine, and that was how I was utilizing it. I felt like I was drifting across the screen, not entirely registering what I was reading or the meaning that would lay heavily behind it, but I continued nonetheless. When I somehow found my way to the poetry, I became suddenly intrigued. Poetry had always been important to me, but in a small and non-consuming way that meant I had no favorite poets or pieces, and I had never written any of my own. Thinking to myself that the soothing tones and transitions may be what I needed, I scavenged and swallowed every word, until I was bloated with them. My throat was filled to the brim with words I had not spoken, and my hands full of words I had not written, but I still needed more. I wanted something that was meaningful to me, for any reason, which gave me a sense of satisfaction that the other scraps hadn’t. I then came across an older man’s writing. He was Chilean, and the soft spoken truths were laid out and stripped, splayed across my screen with a Latino edge. The accent was clear in the words he used, the way that they flowed and twisted, transformed and died on the page. I was transfixed, enamored, enchanted. I dug deeper into his writings, and I found what appeared to me as the best piece of writing I had ever seen. “Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines” by Pablo Neruda, has stayed with me to this day. The hairs on my arms stood up even though they were shrouded by the sheets, and I could feel my cheeks flushing, the blood in my body swirling and pumping faster and faster. The sharp intake of breath seemed to be from another person, as I was no longer a part of myself, and the scent of the familiar detergent lingering in the air and on my skin, still wasn’t enough to return me. Pablo’s words had filled my body, and there was no longer enough room for all of who I was before. The corpses he had left on the pages were stunningly sharp and beautiful, embalmed with emotion and intensity rather than harsh formaldehyde. His words had the same effect though, the experiences and feelings set onto paper, and through my screen were immortalized, or at least their appearance now preserved. The depth of his meaning, and the honesty he showed flowed through my arteries, and pulled me back in. Smaller parts of myself were squeezed out of course, flowing through the edges I had fought so hard to clamp and weld closed. My cup before had been filled solely with myself, but as I reentered myself, I found part of the space taken up by this new experience. The words he had written were no longer part of his collected writings, but part of me, something I had claimed which had claimed me back. My pupils, no longer feeling swollen or painful, flitted across the lines, unfatigued, with renewed vigor. I had to read it again. Again. Again. Again. The way he described the sky in the start, the way he portrayed melancholy and love, and made it clear that they were not mutually exclusive, was earth shattering. This woman, who I will never know, had become important to me, in a way I cannot explain. I was shocked and disturbed. How did this person, this old author, connect me to this person I had never known? How had he made me feel so successfully what he must have felt, how dare he force this on me? I had no answers, and I doubt I ever will. His writing was mysterious and romantic, but the violence was clear also. Not in physicality, but in the force and magnitude in which he felt things. How the woman he had loved had taken parts of him and how he had done the same to her. How irreversibly they had stretched and pulled each other, to the point of ripping. I had never seen a person put so much of themselves into their writing before. It made no sense to me how they could afford to lay themselves out, knowingly be dissected, handing the scalpel over himself. It was astonishing to me how comfortable he seemed to be with letting others know and bury themselves in the space carved out of his chest. These were feelings that were obviously personal, the words and experiences irreplaceable and important, and he had chosen to allow other people to see and inspect them. To analyze and pick apart each word, each shift in tone, each line break that he had so delicately labored into life. Before that point, I had never considered being personal in my writing, preferring to instead stay distanced, focusing on the point I needed to make, or the side I had to argue. My opinions and knowledge was only included if relevant and could overall serve to better the delivery and understanding of the message. I saw though, for the first time how wrongly I had taken to every single writing task I had completed up to that point. From then on, the words I spoke had depth, and the letters written on my paper were personal. I saw how allowing my voice broadened my vocabulary, and made my meaning clearer. All of my writing became easier to digest. No longer tough and dry, or clinical and cold, I had transformed, my writing had gone through the process of metamorphosis, coming out silkier, softer, more pliable and completely renewed. I changed every part of my writing process, no longer analyzing from a distance, but digging, searching and sifting through each word and its connotation. The voice of each author now had meaning to me, and it was easier than ever to understand point of view, and the emotions that seeped through subconsciously, the author unaware of how they had tainted their pages, signed their name between the lines. I was able to write better now than I had before, even if I did not have a significant change in scores or grades, it was clear to me at least how much more successful I had become. I now appealed to emotion more than logic, and to humans whose main drive is the emotions we all feel, I became better for it. Every now and then, I read the poem again that changed my life. I still get chills, and my throat still tightens as I read it aloud. An old man from Chile, whom I had never met, gave me a gift that I can never return or thank him for. He showed me that my writing is good because I am writing it. That the emotions I feel boiling to the surface or simmering in my abdomen are useful and good. He showed me how the most human part of all of us, allows people to relate to your writing, and gain a deeper level of understanding and respect for what is being said. He taught me through a single poem, how to better understand what I read, through the feelings and emotions entrenched in each piece of writing I come across. Before I had encountered “Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines” I had fooled myself into thinking I was literate, when really I was only going through the motions. Of course I could read and write, but allowing peoples work to tough me, and having mine touch others was a concept I had never even pondered. Pablo Neruda gave me literacy, and changed how I see it in others. For that, I will be eternally grateful and forever literate.

Narrative Topic

For my narrative, I have chosen to write about my first experience with Pablo Neruda’s poem “Tonight I can write the saddest lines”.

Characteristic Features

1.       A clearly identified event

a.       The narrative is solely about me, as no one else was involved at the time I read the poem. I will try to describe the poem, how I felt, and how it affected me when I read it.

2.       A clearly described setting

a.       The narrative took place in my room. I will describe my room, where I was in relation to it, and how I felt being there as it is important to the overall tone of the narrative. The transition in feeling from before the reading to after, are incredibly important when describing how I was affected.

3.       Vivid descriptive details

a.       The sounds I heard around me including the weather outside, and the footsteps above me, the feeling of sheets on my skin and cold feet, the smell of familiar fabric detergent, and the dim lighting provided by my phone screen, will all hopefully serve as details that will provide a type of reality and feeling to the narrative, and make it more accessible to other people.

4.       A consistent point of view

a.       The narrative will be told solely through my own point of view in first person. The actual experience is very personal so it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me to be describing it through an outside perspective, where details may be left out or forgotten.

5.       A clear point

a.       The story matters because it was my first real experience with literature that changed who I was. It changed how I viewed the world, and also how I approached different experiences, including literature. The experience shaped my relationship with literature and writing and is absolutely necessary when explaining my journey to literacy and the relationship I have with it.

                                                 Annotation for “Literacy: A Lineage” by Melanie Luken    

      

·         The Author opens the narrative with a statement that not only tells the audience what she will be writing about, but also tells us how she will be delivering her story. (paragraph 1)

·         The story is not told in chronological order, but more an intermixing of past narratives and present analysis. (starting in paragraph 1)

·         Throughout the narrative, Luken explains her relationship with literature through her relationship with her father.

·         The way the author used quotes from different poems helped show us more of what specifically is important to her, and also gave us details to further carve out a good narrative. (paragraph 3)

·         Introduces the discussion about her purpose in a way that transitions very smoothly from the paragraph before, and logically so the retelling of stories before actually benefits our understanding of her purpose. (paragraph 6)

·         She now shifts into more of an analysis of her own experiences, why they are important to the overall message, and ties them into the future, or at least more recent past. (paragraph 9)

·         She gives the audience the definition of literacy, and then gives us her own definition which is clearly colored with the experiences she shared with her father and gives us a new understanding of why she included the stories about her and her father in the beginning of the narrative. (paragraph 9)

·         The author shifts into her conclusion, and ties her ending back into the first paragraphs, and also the title by describing her relationship with literature as a tradition. (paragraph 10)

·         She ends her essay with a conclusion rounding out what literacy is to her, and with a quote from a poem that is evocative, and once again, plays to her previous experiences and gives us a greater understanding of her relationship with literacy. (paragraph 10)

In Class Lab: Literacy Narrative

1.       “…some hurt and bloody, many more without food or water, close to piles of covered corpses and rubble. Limbs protruded from disintegrated concrete” (page 111, paragraph 3). “… writhed in pain in the hospitals chaotic courtyard, near where a handful of corpses lay under white blankets.”(Page 111, paragraph 5). (Simon Romero, “Haiti lies in ruins; Grim search for Untold Dead”)

2.       “Writing! Yeah, right! How did I manage to fail writing, and by half a point no less?” (page 4, paragraph 2) “How can I get A’s in all of my English classes but fail the writing part of the proficiency test twice?” (page 4, paragraph 4) (Shannon Nichols, “Proficiency”)

3.       “The purple sky throws shadows off churches and their saw-bladed spires, bringing definition to the gap-toothed smiles of crenellated walls.” (page 109, paragraph 2)(Wright Thompson, “The Burden of Being Myron Rolle”) “There is a ripple of laughter, an exhalation of relief.”(page 113, paragraph 2)(Georgina Kleege, “Call It Blindness”)

4.       Topic Brainstorming

·         When I first read “Tonight I can write the saddest lines, by Pablo Neruda”

o   How I was affected by the words and emotion he displayed on the page

o   How the style inspired me to always put part of myself into my writing

§  This can be the problem I am trying to find a solution to.

·         My writing is too impersonal

o   How I fell in love with poetry, his especially, and how it has taught me other things like how it is okay to feel emotion or be emotional.

o   How writing can be an outlet for experiences, and can touch people

o   Made me finally realize how important writing is in day-to-day life

5.       Why do I want to tell this story?

a.       This memory is very meaningful to me, and although I may not want to share it with people, I feel like I can write my best narrative by choosing a topic that means so much to me. I also think it might have to do with being able to organize my feelings about the piece, and maybe even trying to remember how I felt when I read the piece for the first time.

6.       Are my readers likely to have had similar experiences?

a.       I think that my audience probably has, although it might not have been the same author, or piece, or even genre, I think that everyone has had a piece of writing, or a story that has resonated with them, or touched them in an unexplainable way. I feel like my experience will be relatable to them, but it will also be new because it is through my experiences and point of view that I am explaining my thoughts.

7.       What attitude do you want to project?

a.       I’m not entirely sure yet, I don’t think I want to limit myself when thinking about tone or attitude. I know that I will obviously be using words with certain connotations that will lead my attitude toward something like awe, or reverence. I want them to see me how I feel like I was when I first read the poem. Maybe as shocked or truly emotionally affected.

8.       How will I present my narrative?

a.       I think the best way to present my narrative is in print. I don’t think that I will need to present it orally just because I think that I will already have put in so much emotional detail that it may compromise the integrity of the narrative if I cannot fully present it by using my voice. I also want people to be able to re-read things if they want to and to be able to contemplate certain things about my writing if they want to, ad develop their own ideas about me through my writing, and the writing itself.

9.       What do I see?

a.       When I first read the poem, I was laying in my room, the lamp I had on my nightstand was barely on, only acting as a backlight. My sheets were wrapped around my shoulders, and the screen of my phone was illuminating my face. I could see my window closed to my right, with the blinds pulled down. I was very solitary in those moments

10.   What do I hear?

a.       I remember hearing the wind outside, and quiet footsteps from the kitchen above me, my parents were talking to each other while my brothers were in bed trying to sleep. I had on music from the radio low, and I could hear my cat purring down by my feet.

11.   What do I smell?

a.       I don’t remember smelling much. I think it was just the laundry detergent from my sheets and pillow. It was familiar.

12.   How and what do I feel?

a.       I remember feeling comforted and safe in my room because it was mine. I remember being content that I was alone and warm. And I remember feeling restless, trying to fall asleep so I decided to read. I remember feeling overwhelmed at first, by how honest the writing was, and in awe at how he organized his writing, and how it made the message more truthful. How the separation of the stanzas made the writing feel more stilted or even smoother based on the experiences he was recalling and writing down.

13.   What do I taste?

a.       I don’t think I was tasting anything at the time. It was nighttime, and long enough past dinner and brushing my teeth that nothing was lingering still.

14.   Describe each person

a.       I was the only person involved in the narrative, I was alone, wrapped in my sheets and comforter, reading so I could fall asleep.

15.   Recall some character dialogue

a.       I didn’t speak to anyone that night, but I remember reading it multiple times, and thinking about it when I was finished and felt like I could finally sleep. The next day though, I showed my mom and I remember that she also was deeply touched by his emotion and honesty regarding the woman he was thinking about.

16.   Summarize the action

a.       I was sitting, contemplating, struggling with my own thoughts, becoming overwhelmed, and calming down afterwards, I laid down and thank about the poem for a while before I eventually fell asleep. I did make sure to save his name and what poem it was before I had turned off my phone.

17.   Consider the significance

a.       It was significant to me because of how I connected with the honesty and emotions being laid out in the poem. It made me recognize certain things in his writing that I really appreciated and had never seen before. It also made me understand that very successful writing, in any genre or format, has some part of the author in it. It made me a better writer because I saw how good I can be if I opened myself up more, and allowed my own personality to color my writing and add voice. It made me think about the standards I have of my own writing, and what a good piece really means to me. I also learned more about how I personally like to write, and how personal touches and experiences can benefit my writing instead of detracting from my message or topic.